Reflections on 2023

1. Experience and knowledge are very different, and both are critical. Experience must be lived — it cannot be taught. This is the ultimate value of rapid decision making (at a company, and in life): you live more experiences, and grow stronger as a result.
2. Fear is almost always a bad reason to avoid doing something — instead, when you notice yourself holding back because of fear, lean into that action. You may be surprised: the outcome of the situation may be far different from your expectations, and the exposure itself may help break down the fear. Fear is different from a decision not to do something because of its risks or consequences.
3. Being silent and listening is harder than you’d realize. When talking to people, you often only get to their most controversial - and most interesting - thoughts by waiting for longer than fifteen seconds. Often, the best way to receive feedback is not to ask for feedback, but rather ask a question that lets people answer in as open ended of a way as possible, and infer your feedback from their observations.
4. Debates should always start with why. When two people can align on why they are solving the problem they are, it becomes 10 times easier to align on what to do and how to implement it. It’s easy to assume that the what/how of a solution is the only way to achieve a goal. When you get to why, you can understand the real things others care about, and find even better solutions much more easily.
5. Negotiation is about finding a win-win, which (like above) is only possible when you focus on why. People get caught up in what they want - by understanding why they want it, you can find another solution that gets everyone what they want. The key often to find a third solution, not the ones both parties came in with.
6. The most effective way to deliver constructive feedback: (1) share your observations of the current behavior, (2) ask how they percieve that behavior and what might be leading them to do it, (3) then share your observations of what they could do differently, (4) the suboptimal results that happen as a result of those behaviors, including observations of yourself, (5) the better results that would happen with those changes, and how much higher leverage those would make the person. After understanding the experiences that have shaped that behavior, you will learn so much about the other person, and may be able to help show how their behaviors may not be the best way to achieve the goals they have in mind.
7. Ruthlessly prune things that are non-critical or not high leverage. It’s far easier to get more done by getting rid of unimportant work than by putting in more hours. Notice when you’re bored; that implies what you’re doing may be removable, since if it’s truly important, it’d be irritating, not boring. For R&D, pruning work by focusing on the most important parts of the most important problems can eliminate 90% of the work you thought you had to do.
8. Clearly articulate what you expect, of yourself and of others. It’s easy to assume other people know what you want. When I’m frustrated, it’s almost always because I haven’t communicated what I want or expect. In those cases, of course something else will be happening.
9. Sleeping, exercising, focusing, and reading are all extremely effective ways to leverage the time that you do spend working. I can get more output with fewer hours by focusing on these. Books can give you a lens through which you can think about situations you’re already encountering in life; that is the power of knowledge and words.
10. We have a greater ability to influence and shape others’ behaviors and worldviews than we might think on the surface. When people close to you challenge you, it’s not an attack, but rather an opportunity to refine a perspective and help shape both your and their thought processes. We are most effective at shaping worldviews once we have heard others’ objections.